I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
