i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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