your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize