My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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