I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
