Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
