Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize