Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
