Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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