I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You can't just leave with hair like that
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
