after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize