I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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