Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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