You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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