if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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