it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize