I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
