Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
