Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm really busy with my period
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