I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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