take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize
