I'm gonna have a badass scar
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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