Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
