Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
