And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize