By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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