I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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