You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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