i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
