Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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