that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
