We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize