I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I believe in your delicious
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
