My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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