and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
