Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
