you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
