Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
