Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
