Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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