Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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