I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize