i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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