I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
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