If i come over, it means nothing
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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