I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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