I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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