please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
