I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
