Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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