Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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