There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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