I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
