Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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