I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
