This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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