You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
