For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize