Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
